bulletproof

I still don’t get it. Just tell me so I can understand. Every time I see you, I feel like I’ve lost a friend, I hope you know it’s not easy for me. It’s not that simple. I took a chance with you. I was flying with colours; the best that I could portray myself. And you shot it. You told me that you needed me, and then you pushed my heart around. I hope you didn’t forget every single thing you said to me, because every time you look at me I can see the guilt in your eyes. Can you see the pain in mine? I’m so confused, and frustrated these days, and I keep forgetting what i want to say because you’re on my mind. I have no one to believe now; No one to believe in me. Did you expect me to believe in every single letter that came out of your mouth? But I do, I still do...There’s no one to save me anymore. I don’t get it; did you play me because you just needed to feel alive again? Did you make me smile so you can feel whole inside again? Why did you have to put down my dreams unintentionally until you’re the first thing, the last thing, and the only thing on my mind? It’s not suppose to be like this. We we’re supposed to be happy together. Look, you’ve got me crying again. I’m so foolish, tell me I’m foolish. We we’re suppose to care for each other, and believe in each other. I feel it. It’s not suppose to feel this way, It’s suppose to hurt like this. The hurt i feel, when i think that everytime you look at me, you don’t see me the way you did a few months ago. Remember? The one that you called a cute because she was so clumsy? The you told that you loved talking to, when now you hardly do. The hurt that i feel everytime i look at you, i feel that you’re staring right through me like I’m not there. Do you even know how much it hurts? The feeling that you gave up on me for her? You don’t understand, and maybe you do, so maybe you can’t grasp it. how much i incredibly love you. With my full and complete heart. No more, no less. No less, because i love you more than less, and no more because i think its the limit i can feel until you share it with me. Can’t you grasp that everytime i see you, my heart is beating uncontrollably. My butterflies, are intense and won’t stop. That even if you’re not mine, when I’m walking by your side, I feel like the happiest in the world, to know a person like you. it’s like a new day, and i’m myself again. I’m smiling, and i mean it. I’m laughing and i mean it. you make me smile. Like no tomorrow. This, this is what i’ve been waiting for, I’m sure of it; I’m sure. Just believe me like you did before. When everything that i ever said you believed. Remember? The who believes Pluto is a planet? The who is an absolute dreamer and is in love with flowers and stars, and clouds? The that is in love with you? Why can’t you just believe me again? What am i suppose to do when everything falls apart. When i have one of those breakdowns that you would comfort me. Everyone always tells me that it is going to be okay. And i hardly believe in them at first, it takes them a couple of tries. But with you I believe you just like that. I just don’t understand sweetie, what did I do wrong that made you change your heart? I’ll fix it. Just for you. Just for you, and only just for you. And I’m going to be here for you no matter what you say, because though you may not know it, I believe in you. Even after you hurt me, and our trust is broken. And i know now that I’m not bulletproof; and now you know too, because you’ve shot me.