one messed up mirror

i am a mirror with cracks. I cannot be the perfect image you see me as. As much as I try I will never live up to your expectations. or my own. because I am who I am. But you are my friend, you are suppose to understnad. not cut me up. What is a friend? I may not know the true definition of friend, but what I know is  not what you are doing right now. you are not my friend right now

it's okay to feel lost

There are things people must learn about jealousy. It is not attractive. And no one on this planet or universe can ever say they have never felt envy. Because the truth is, “He that is not jealous is not in love.” And I am in love. I am in love with this world, and with everything in it. And I am jealous. I envy people who have everything, but I hate that they take it for granted. And people who don’t have anything, I envy the way they cherish things. Where do I stand? I’m just a normal person who neither has nor has lost anything. There are points in life where I thought I lost my way, but I’ve come to learn that is the way life is supposes to be. It’s supposes to be hard, it’s suppose to be challenging; it’s suppose to be ugly. Because without the ugliness, where is the beauty? I’ve learned that in life you make mistakes, and the mistakes you make, you have to answer for. I’ve learned in life that the best thing to do is to be you and not be afraid to do so, because it’s much better than being yourself. But that doesn’t mean a person can’t change. People change for the good. So I admit, I’m not the most fun person to be with. But I know I am worthwhile to at least someone out there.  I’m not interesting, I’m not right all the time, and I’m not wrong all the time. My life is pretty much average. I’ve never had a best friend, and I’ve never had someone to hold and say I love, and I’ve never really let anyone in. But that’s okay. Because it goes to show after a while who gets sick of the shield I put up and those who stick around in case I do.  I can fall off the face of this planet, and at first someone would notice, and that notification will become a fad. But sooner of later, It all fads, and you know who sticks around. So I don’t mind. Yes, I want to have the summer to remember. But what is there to remember when you don’t have a best friend to share it with. What’s a summer without someone you can turn to? Drinking and parties? Just kicking back and letting the alcohol take control. That’s not me, and I like me for not being that person. What’s a summer without that? It’s just a summer. So no, I’m not too worried. At some point in life there is someone out there who is going to call out to be and become my best friend. At some point in time, I will find the love of my life. So no, I don’t mind falling off the face of the planet. I don’t mind keeping to myself. At least for a little while.