I didn’t mean to fall this fast – no scratch that, I didn’t mean to fall at all. There was no intention in looking at him in any way but a friend. He entered my world, just like any normal person would enter it; with polite hellos, caring how-are-you’s and well-mannered goodbyes. So why is he so different? Why is it that he is standing in a different spotlight then everyone else? There was not magical spark, no fairytale love at first site. I didn’t expect anything but a nice and semi-developed friendship that started out by having a simple class together every Wednesdays and Fridays. First just talking in person, then talking on our phones with superficial monosyllable sentences that were empty with meaning and normal everyday conversation you would have with a stranger in a grocery store. But it developed into beautiful conversation; things with meanings, our dislikes, our likes, our families, our interests, his dreams, my dreams. And he was just so beautiful. He is a beautiful person. My feelings intensified; as if I was centered out of a crowd of a million underneath of a microscope. He is someone that i was falling for out of nowhere, and in such a short time, I can feel myself falling deeply in like of him. He captivates my heart, my mind, and my soul, and pulls the smile of laughter from deep within me, and everything I feel causes me to feel as if I am ready to explode. No one should feel this much at the same time. It’s 100% insane on how this could happen, for me to feel this way. For me to long for the days where i get to see him. Desperate for his company, longing to know his story and what comes next. Joy and pure bliss was never suppose to come hand in hand with hurt and misery. I love laughing at him, making fun at him. Staring at those deep thoughtful eyes as if I was drinking in a story that even he didn’t know. to have my heart swell like a balloon every time I open my phone and see his name come up as a incoming text, to secretly smile to myself when he asks me for a favour, or do a favour for him without him asking. The way he looks when he’s stressed, the way he makes me feel safe, the way he always has the perfect scruff. Even moment I see him, I start to compare him to everyone around me, to everyone I have ever met in my life, to everyone that I have ever got my heart broken, and they don’t even come close to comparing to him. Perfect without being perfect; imperfect without a flaw. I don’t think I ever wanted something to be mine so much in my life before, and that feeling is controlling our friendship. It depresses me when I should be happy, and causes me to breakdown when I should be at my strongest. I’m happy and scared all at the same time, and that kind of feeling can cause one to feel crazy inside. I want to know his story, and I want to know how it continues, and how it ends; but most of all, I want to be in it.
